Prison Comedy Aficionado Gifts

'A break-out? Forget it. Security's too tight. Can't even break out in a sweat around here without getting caught.'

'Let's get a kitty.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Convict Decor

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

Martha bakes with her new friends.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Hey. You're back.'

"Any word on my appeal?"

'But I learned a valuable lesson: Before you put out a contract on anyone, be sure to read the fine print.'

'There's a rumour we're all going to be released and forced to join the NFL.'