Prison Humor Aficionado Gifts

'...And we'll soon have you out of those nasty black clod-hoppers and into some nice comfy slippers.'

'Didn't they tell you? I've had the builders in.'

"Considering we eat here every day, you'd think they'd have a loyalty program."

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'Hey. You're back.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

'So, how was your day?'

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'

"Any word on my appeal?"