Prison Humor Aficionado Gifts

Prison coffee table books.

'...And we'll soon have you out of those nasty black clod-hoppers and into some nice comfy slippers.'

'Didn't they tell you? I've had the builders in.'

"I know a curtain guy."

"Considering we eat here every day, you'd think they'd have a loyalty program."

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Hey. You're back.'

"Any word on my appeal?"