Prison Humor Lover Gifts

'He didn't wash his hands.'

'It all began when my call was monitored for quality assurance purposes.'

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

I blame it on the system. On my last stretch I did a computer course, and now I'm in for computer fraud.

'Wow! My first designer suit.'

Prisoner wins a world cruise holiday.

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

I'm in for a motoring offence-I taught the missus to drive.'

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"Try and give me... happy."

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Hey. You're back.'