Prison Humor Lovers Gifts

'Dear, I'd like you to meet Michel LeCouteau -- we did time together once.'

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Hey. You're back.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

"I've sent last minute treatments to all the major studios."

'There's a rumour we're all going to be released and forced to join the NFL.'

All I'm saying is, the next time you go for a perp walk, I'd like to be included.

I don

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

"I know it's my turn, but please continue."