Prison Parody Fan Gifts

"You're new, I suppose."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Prisoner decorating his cell.

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

'It's windy this morning.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

A couple of criminal pickles 'jar jack' a pickle jar.

'Hey. You're back.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Jackie Chan caught you? Now, that's a coincidence - Charlie Chan caught me!'