Prison Drama Lover Gifts

"I buried three husbands. . .problem was, two of them were only napping."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Tic-tac-toe

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

Newton's Law and Order.

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

"Law & Order: Museum Guards."

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

Prisoner decorating his cell.

'When I said there was a thin person inside me screaming to get out, I didn't mean it LITERALLY!'

'Yes, Frank, yes. That's how my body will fall when you kill me, and your laughter will echo down the corridors...'

"You keep changing your story, flower, so I'm gonna ask you one last time."

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

"Involuntary manslaughter. How about you?"

'It's the best investment I ever made - a 'random alibi generator.''

Wordilly Durdillies - A fashion victim.

"Ok, tough guy, let's see if you can take the unbearable tickle of your runny nose with the facial tissues just out of reach."

'It's windy this morning.'

'It doesn't make any difference! Tranquilizing all the other horses would be as illegal as doping up this one.'

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

'Welcome to our town strangers. Our bank vault is full but won't lock and we ran out of bullets.'

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"Try and give me... happy."

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

"I'm Vinnie. I hear you got a little problem you want taken care of?"

'During the fraud investigation, I'll be staying beneath everyone's radar screen, Ms Milmous.'

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."