Prison Drama Addict Gifts

'When I said there was a thin person inside me screaming to get out, I didn't mean it LITERALLY!'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

'Yes, Frank, yes. That's how my body will fall when you kill me, and your laughter will echo down the corridors...'

The Kink and I

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

'I love appearing on stage. My only regret is that I can't be in the audience to fully appreciate my work.'

Prisoner decorating his cell.

Teacher complaning he can't understand pupil in his course on 'Voice projection and pronunciation'

Snack machine in EastEnders canteen has a sign saying: 'Well out of order.'

Maid

Mouse policeman eats cheese from victim's trap.

"I forget, is this the show with the back stabbing, or the front stabbing?"

'It's windy this morning.'

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

Detective follows footprints leading to a pair of shoes.

'I gotta go, Jezebel. My soap is coming on: 'Nine Lives to Live'!'

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

Nibelungen

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

'Well at least he took the time to use different fonts for every letter.'

Cartoon about a dog and cat with two different perspectives 'war' and 'peace'.

"I should have warned you. My ex-boyfriend is very vindictive."

Crime in the theater district was the worst. Too much drama: 'okay good, now wiggle your fingers and sway back and forth in the wind.'

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

"Put an olive in it please. My doctor told me to eat more greens!"