Prison Drama Gifts

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

Joan Hickson

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

Slow Night

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Tic-tac-toe

Next camera crew 5 mins

Miami Mice

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

"Paper or plastic?"

'Let's get a kitty.'

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

Al Pacino

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

'I wanted to go straight. . . but then I learned a law degree.'

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Sweet Jailbreak

Jim and Betty Noir could turn a simple trip to the post office into gripping melodrama.

Prison Wallpaper.

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

Prisoner decorating his cell.

'Hello, Mum!'

'I said there is a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E!'

Crime scene. Police. CSI Unit. Jewelry. It was a perfect theft. They didn't leave any evidence. Ah, "stainless steal"!

"You keep changing your story, flower, so I'm gonna ask you one last time."

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.