Prison Narrative Lover Gifts

"For me, a confessions is much too autobiographical."

"What do you miss most?"

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

Tic-tac-toe

Wow. A corner office at last

Prison Romance.

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

Anecdote Magazine

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

"Try and give me... happy."

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

"Sorry, but your story contains way too much reality!"

''What I Did During My Summer Vacation -- A Coming of Age Story....''

"He says he won't wear a mask."

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

"I was doing ok before the investigation

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Ohmygosh! What? What? Is a Kardashian here? Major scandal. Epic proportions. Infidelity of the highest order. Sadie Cohen has been cheating on Uncle Mort. Can you believe it? Sadie! The very image of perfection revealed as a fraud! She's not the image of perfection. Stick with me. This is for narrative purposes. Oh, fine. No way! But she's so perfect!

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

"I was making big money! Yes, an inch too big."

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

Maximum Insecurity Prison

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"Neato, keeno - bunk beds!"

'You've got to get me out of here... my cellmate just gave me flowers and candy.'

Dear Edward, here is the cake in the file that you wanted. Love, Sue.

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

'That's old Smitty -- he got life plus 99 years.'