Prison Scenario Fan Gifts

"For you new prisoners here, the warden will only let us use bar graphs on all of our prison data projects."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

Golf escape.

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Prisoner decorating his cell.

"I don't know what it is, but, for God's sake, don't do anything to frighten it away!"

Jailed mouse.

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

'It's windy this morning.'

"Well, of course you have a heart."

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

Chick escapes from egg prison.

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

'Hang on, I'm not sure anymore that tunnelling out of here is such a good idea...'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

'I can hear voices...we're nearly free.'

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

'AT LAST, IT'S OPENING!'

Prisoner

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Hey. You're back.'

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'