Prison Tale Teller Gifts

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Sweet Jailbreak

Prison Wallpaper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

In The Bastille

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'

"Hey, this reminds me of camp when I was a kid! I won't bore you with all the stories! Well, ok. . . there was this one time. . ."

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

Do you believe in free love?

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."