Prison Tale Teller Pillows

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

Prison Wallpaper.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

In The Bastille

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

Do you believe in free love?

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

'A break-out? Forget it. Security's too tight. Can't even break out in a sweat around here without getting caught.'