Prison Tale Collector Pillows

"How long have those two been inside?"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Who's Dead

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

'I've been knocking for ages!'

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

Brothers Grimm

'Hi. I'm Don.'

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

"It's a Plodcast!"

Updated Fables. The Ant And The Grasshopper … And The Mosquito. IRS.

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

Oliver's reception by Fagin and the boys

"Can you hear me now?"

Stolen Crime Books.

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"Oh, and a five and five ones."

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'

Prompts on the Antiques Roadshow.

"We met online."

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.

Caught with a smoking gun.

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

"Ow! Rotten stinking sky!!"

'This one belonged to a little old lady with weak eyes.'

'He's not a patient. He's an antique collector. He's interested in the magazines in our waiting room.'

'I love what they've done with the place. It looks so modern!'

The boy whose hair was on fire about some kind of wolf thing