Prison Joke Collector Pillows

'I pride myself on maintaining a very healthy balance between family, career and incarceration!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Suffering from Cooties?

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Useless add-ons.

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Psychiatrist - "Doctor, I keep imagining I'm being followed by an impersonator."

Shark infested custard!

My daddy ate my homework

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Cheating Death.

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Turn your head and cough."

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

Beware of balloon dog.

'You MAY feel a teeny-tiny pin-prick..'

"Dogs are men."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'