Prison Humor Collector Pillows

'I love what they've done with the place. It looks so modern!'

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Convict Decor

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

Martha bakes with her new friends.

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Hey. You're back.'

'But I learned a valuable lesson: Before you put out a contract on anyone, be sure to read the fine print.'