Lover Of Prison Humor Pillows

'I'm trying to steal the identity of someone who's up for parole.'

'Let's get a kitty.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"Try and give me... happy."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Hey. You're back.'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

All I'm saying is, the next time you go for a perp walk, I'd like to be included.

'There's a rumour we're all going to be released and forced to join the NFL.'

Maximum Insecurity Prison

I don