Imprisonment Humor Lover Pillows

"How many steps did you do today?"

'Let's get a kitty.'

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"Try and give me... happy."

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Hey. You're back.'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'