Inmate Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'Let's get a kitty.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Convict Decor

'He didn't wash his hands.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

Martha bakes with her new friends.

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

'But I learned a valuable lesson: Before you put out a contract on anyone, be sure to read the fine print.'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."