Prisoner Humorist Pillows

"Any word on my appeal?"

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

Prisoner Crossing

When staffing agencies screw up.

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

Convict Decor

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

Martha bakes with her new friends.

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'21 Today - he wants the key of the door...'

At least you have security!

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'Thanks, that looks delicious, charge it to my room, would you?'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

"They say you're good with forgeries?"