Prisoner Humorist Gifts

"Any word on my appeal?"

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

Prisoner Crossing

When staffing agencies screw up.

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Convict Decor

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'21 Today - he wants the key of the door...'

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

Martha bakes with her new friends.

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

At least you have security!

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'Thanks, that looks delicious, charge it to my room, would you?'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"