Prison Satire Collector Pillows

"I'd like to talk to the warden about rescheduling my debt to society."

'...until the doctor put me on this bread and butter diet nothing worked for me.'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

"Barry stop!. . . I'm you! I'm Barry from 2008. I'm using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!"

The water desk

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

Slave Drivers.

'Don't be so sexist, sweet cheeks.'

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

My boss is a real turd.

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

'I accept that a dog can be a man's best friend but I'm afraid that doesn't qualify you to speak on the defendant's behalf...'

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

"Of course there are some advantages to working here...we have a Food Bank situated conveniently at the end of the street!"

'I hope everyone saw the ATM installed in the entrance.'

World Domination

'I'm concerned. I enjoy paying taxes.'

'Well, your income looks good, and you've been on your job for over two years... but it seems you're 15 trillion dollars in debt.'

'When the economy improves, you will get your company car back.'

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'

"The jury will disregard the defendant's statement that he will donate 100% of his criminal earnings to the Concerned Mobsters for Eritrea Fund!"

Trump's Advisors

This house believes that "No Platforming" is not an attack on free speech.

'Yes sire, we are dealing with your invoice at this very minute.'

'You seem to have rather a lot of unexplained wealth when it comes to tempting, Mr Satan...'

"Sure you defeated the dragon, but too bad you didn't bring a vaccine."

'Layoffs are bad enough without you making them play musical chairs.'

"Not to worry mum - I've spotted us a Banksy!"