Prison Tales Pillows

'Why, you no-good bum! -- You just sprained my wrist!'

'I blew it when I sent in 15 percent of my loot as Social Security payments.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'Let's get a kitty.'

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Sweet Jailbreak

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prison Wallpaper.

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

In The Bastille

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

Arrows Pointing The Blame.

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'Well, it's a little intimidating. All I managed to smuggle in was a comb.'