Prison Storyteller Pillows

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prison Wallpaper.

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

"No ham in this, I hope?"

In The Bastille

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates