Prison Narratives T-Shirts

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

'If I'd known you were in for 'gaining money by deception' I would never have bought my cell off you!'

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

'How come you get the easy job?'

Tic-tac-toe

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'Let's get a kitty.'

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

Prison Wallpaper.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

In The Bastille

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Stay! Do not chase us! Staaay! Staaay!"

You gonna eat your pickle?

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to put a climbing wall in the exercise yard.

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

"I was making big money! Yes, an inch too big."