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"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

'Yeah, I know I said they'd never take me alive -- you call this living?'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prison Wallpaper.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

"Try and give me... happy."

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates

Do you believe in free love?

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'

"I was doing ok before the investigation

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

'You MUST cut the grass when you get out,my hayfever is getting worse.'

Dear Edward, here is the cake in the file that you wanted. Love, Sue.

'You've got to get me out of here... my cellmate just gave me flowers and candy.'

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".