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"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Sweet Jailbreak

Prison Wallpaper.

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

Do you believe in free love?

Barnaby in Newgate

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

'Sorry, but none of our entrees are available for takeout.'

"I was doing ok before the investigation

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

'A break-out? Forget it. Security's too tight. Can't even break out in a sweat around here without getting caught.'

'There, there, Warden. He's in a better place now.'

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

Your wife send her best wishes!

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."