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"Can I still do my pilates?"

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

Preferred Prisons

'I guess it all started the day my mom said, son, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing you can't do.'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

"You're doing 20-to-life. What do you mean you haven't got time to floss?"

Prison ain't so bad- ? -aside from all the metrosexual activity.

'I got busted for Identity Theft: I was pretending to be the Prince...'

Do you believe in free love?

"I was making big money! Yes, an inch too big."

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

Prisoner playing golf with his ball and chains.

"For God's sake man, give it a break. You were an accountant!"

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

"He says he won't wear a mask."

"I was doing ok before the investigation

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

Way out.

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

No caption. (Two jail cell inmates are seen looking at each other. One is a human, one a mouse. There are bars on the cell window and bars shown on the mouse hole).

Worst escape attempt ever.

Prison officers' hospital visit.

'I was convicted for embezzling from a sperm bank.'

Werewolf Cellmate