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Werewolf Cellmate

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"I say we just wheel it into the city. What's the worst that can happen?""

"Can you hear me now?"

"No ham in this, I hope?"

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"I was doing ok before the investigation

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

A Vision Had by Charlemagne (Legend of Croquemitaine).

Prisoner playing golf with his ball and chains.

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

FISH ESCAPE.

Do you believe in free love?

'Sorry, but none of our entrees are available for takeout.'

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

When Financial Planners Go To Prison.

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

Worst escape attempt ever.

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

'One 10 by 8 for the wife, and a dozen postcard size for the rest of the gang...'

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

'I was convicted for embezzling from a sperm bank.'

'I'm here for identity theft.'

Prison flags

'Don't worry - You'll cross the pain threshold in a couple of years.'

Ice-cream van supplies skyscraper of cones to reach prisoner in upstairs cell