Storyteller In The Jailhouse Gifts

"Hey, this reminds me of camp when I was a kid! I won't bore you with all the stories! Well, ok. . . there was this one time. . ."

Tic-tac-toe

Shakespeare in the clink

Prisoner Crossing

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prison Wallpaper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'It's for you.'

Prison Paintings

'I had the cops all bribed, but I completely forgot about the stupid superheroes!'

At least you have security!

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'