Jailhouse Artist Gifts

"Sweetie, show the Hazlitts the watercolors you made in jail."

Prison Paintings

Prisoner still life painting.

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

'I'm done doing inside jobs on the outside. I make more on the inside as an outsider artist.'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'It's for you.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

At least you have security!

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

"Hey, this reminds me of camp when I was a kid! I won't bore you with all the stories! Well, ok. . . there was this one time. . ."

"Just came back to pick up my mail."

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

"I found your contact lens."

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'