Jailhouse Artist Gifts

"Sweetie, show the Hazlitts the watercolors you made in jail."

Prison Paintings

Prisoner still life painting.

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

'I'm done doing inside jobs on the outside. I make more on the inside as an outsider artist.'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

At least you have security!

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'It's for you.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

Sheriff places his star on top of a Christmas tree.

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'