Jailhouse Decorator Gifts

'What this place needs is some floral-print wallpaper.'

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'What are you in for?'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

The prison-food was so bad, the inmates decided to smuggle in a cordon bleu chef!

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

Prison Paintings

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'It's for you.'

At least you have security!

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

And for sport we've goot a spittoon.

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

'World of Interiors.'

Break-ins by the Masochist Society

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'