Jailhouse Comics Gifts

'Whoa, do you have a cat?'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

At least you have security!

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

Prison Paintings

'It's for you.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"I froze all your pastry dough."

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

Break-ins by the Masochist Society

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

And for sport we've goot a spittoon.

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'