Jailhouse Comics Pillows

'Whoa, do you have a cat?'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

Prison Paintings

'It's for you.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

At least you have security!

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

Break-ins by the Masochist Society

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

I don

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

"I found your contact lens."

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

And for sport we've goot a spittoon.

"I froze all your pastry dough."