Jailhouse Book Lover Pillows

"Damn! I forgot to bring a book."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prison Romance.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

'Now then, Mr. Grumpypants, if we're to get along we'll have to turn that frown upside down...'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'It's for you.'

Prison Paintings

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

Break-ins by the Masochist Society

"I froze all your pastry dough."

I don

STRIP Hambone: Prisoner visited by a computer

"He told me it was for a hot tub."

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"Hey, this reminds me of camp when I was a kid! I won't bore you with all the stories! Well, ok. . . there was this one time. . ."

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

And for sport we've goot a spittoon.