Jailhouse Comic Pillows

'I'm in for murdering my last cellmate for snoring. Sleep well!'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'Now then, Mr. Grumpypants, if we're to get along we'll have to turn that frown upside down...'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'It's for you.'

Prison Paintings

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

At least you have security!

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

"I found your contact lens."

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

"Just came back to pick up my mail."