Jailhouse Comedy Lover Pillows

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

At least you have security!

'It's for you.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"He told me it was for a hot tub."

"Hey, this reminds me of camp when I was a kid! I won't bore you with all the stories! Well, ok. . . there was this one time. . ."