Jailhouse Comedian Pillows

'I never knew that about walls...did you?'

'I was warned not to talk to you about anything!'

Prisoner Crossing

When staffing agencies screw up.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Convict Decor

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

Prison Paintings

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

Martha bakes with her new friends.

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

At least you have security!

'It's for you.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'