Jailhouse Comedian T-Shirts

'I never knew that about walls...did you?'

'I was warned not to talk to you about anything!'

Prisoner Crossing

When staffing agencies screw up.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

Convict Decor

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

Martha bakes with her new friends.

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'It's for you.'

At least you have security!

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

Prison Paintings

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."