Jailhouse Bookworms Pillows

"Do you like your job at the prison library?"

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

Spelling for Dumbies.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'It's for you.'

At least you have security!

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

And for sport we've goot a spittoon.

"Doctor, this week I have read Anna Karenina, Pride & Prejudice and Jane Eyre."

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

"I froze all your pastry dough."

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

Break-ins by the Masochist Society