Jailhouse Bookworms Gifts

"Do you like your job at the prison library?"

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

Spelling for Dumbies.

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

At least you have security!

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'It's for you.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

"I froze all your pastry dough."

"Just came back to pick up my mail."

"Hey, this reminds me of camp when I was a kid! I won't bore you with all the stories! Well, ok. . . there was this one time. . ."

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

Break-ins by the Masochist Society

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

I don

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"Doctor, this week I have read Anna Karenina, Pride & Prejudice and Jane Eyre."

"He told me it was for a hot tub."

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'