Incarcerated Reader Gifts

"Damn! I forgot to bring a book."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"The governor is considering your petition. He has one question: did you vote for him the last election?"

A prison with a conservatory attached.

"Prose & Cons."

'Make no mistake about it, this is one mad cow!'

"I thought you said this was a JEWELRY room."

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

'This book changed my life. I stole it.'

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

'Want a cracker?'

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

'Have I failed so as a mother, Robert?'

'Hey, Fred - Got a minute?'

"You can't blow up that safe here - this is the quiet car."

Well, if you're innocent, the strangler must still be out there. And if that's the case, we're probably safer in here.

"Do you like your job at the prison library?"

A robber reads a book on banking

'Whoa, do you have a cat?'

'They reckon nobody is ever more than ten feet away from a rat.'

Ice-cream van supplies skyscraper of cones to reach prisoner in upstairs cell

"You can't keep living in the past. Maybe it's time you started killing other people."

Horizontal stripes make you look fat.

'Dear Diary... Still no change...'

'I'm in for murdering my last cellmate for snoring. Sleep well!'