Incarceration Gifts

Woman in prison's visitation room, screaming at prisoner who is reading a newspaper

"I know how some actors feel. I can't stand to watch myself on security camera tapes."

"As an ex-priest, I'm having a hard time adjusting to these noncathedral ceilings."

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'Just a few more years, Sally, and we can start that family we always wanted.'

"Stop playing hard to get, Giles."

'I don't smoke or drink or gamble or run around at night.' - 'Of course all that will change when you get out of jail.'

'Do you realize by the time you get out the kids will all be full-grown?!'

Seven years in jail is enough time to write a book about it.

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

"Will you wait for me ?"

'Stop pouting! Wouldn't you rather have me turn you in for the reward, than some stranger?'

"Yes, I agree. Having a baby is a little miracle, especially as I've been in here for sixteen months!"

"New Year's resolutions? Yes, I did some and I made them. That was 1996. I'e been here ever since."

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Prisoner still life painting.

Madoff and devil.

Prison Romance.

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Prisoner Crossing

Police Lineup Escape

Exposed and imprisoned.

Exhibition for Prisoners

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"The governor is considering your petition. He has one question: did you vote for him the last election?"

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'Sorry Vicar, Daddy can't come to the phone. He's doing porridge.'

"Everyone we know is escaping and you sit there doing nothing."

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"