Prisons Gifts

'I hope this is gluten-free!'

"What happens if you hit escape?"

'Likewise...I went through the door marked 'Internal Grievance Procedures'.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

'It says here you were finance manager for your fellow inmates on cell block 3. This does raise other concerns.'

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Two prisoners pull a Christmas cracker, the free gift is a hacksaw.

"What a couple of clucks we are. Here's another mistake right up here."

Madoff and devil.

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

Deaf Row

Prisoner Crossing

'Juries have never liked me.'

Police Lineup Escape

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"This doesn't look like the bank."

'What a doofus! - He started an upside-down pyramid scheme!'

'Man, they sure know how to be cruel! 24 hours a day of the Gournet Food Channel!'

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

Music Will Set You Free

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

Prison flags

A prison guard watches female visitors buying pies from a bakery who's speciality is; FILES BAKED IN PIES.

'You mean we stole each other's identity? - Boy, what are the odds of that!'

Prisoner Spotter

Man in a Chain Gang has a Peg Leg.

'See! This is what happens when you give a sucker an even break!'

"... No, I'm not your Bert. I think you've got the wrong number."

'You're in violation of the dress code, Pendleton!'

"O.K. That covers the last meal. Now, which would you prefer, hanging, electrocution, or lethal injection?"

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"Man! I hate to think of what the collective guilt adds up to around here!"