Detention Gifts

'What? It's not my fault you're banned from class and it's definitely not my fault that Mrs. Banks is celebrating it.'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"I was totally embarrassed at school today! Miss Lopez yelled at me in math class."

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"I was acquitted."

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

"You're allowed one facebook posting."

I just can't take it anymore!

'We would like you to accompany us to the station, sir!'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'We should try harder to behave. We're wearing a rut in this floor.'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

"My teacher wants to talk to you? Wow. What did you do wrong?"

"Stop playing hard to get, Giles."

"I know how some actors feel. I can't stand to watch myself on security camera tapes."

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

Seven years in jail is enough time to write a book about it.

'Just a few more years, Sally, and we can start that family we always wanted.'

'It's not my fault I'm here again. I'm the victim of typecasting.'

"As an ex-priest, I'm having a hard time adjusting to these noncathedral ceilings."

"Oh, I know full well he remembers the school rules! He just chooses to ignore them!"

'I need a statement that I've been here for the past 15 minutes and read David Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding.'

"The principal's leaving early today, Phillip, so go to the office now, and you can act up later."

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

I Will Not Text In Class # Mean Teacher

'I told the dean I couldn't go to detention because I have detention-deficit-disorder, and he bought it!'