Detention Regular Gifts

"Son, your teacher tells me you have sinned."

"I was totally embarrassed at school today! Miss Lopez yelled at me in math class."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

Pie.,

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

DINER, 'No more rumcake for you, pal - go on home to your wife and elves.'

"I was acquitted."

"I haven't seen you in church lately, Mr. Smedly..."

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

Please wait to be yelled at.

"For dessert I'll have milk and cookies."

"They're passing a plate? Great, I'm starved!"

"Keep pouring. I'm a masochist."

I just can't take it anymore!

"You were supposed to be IN the soup!"

The Man Who Couldn't Say "When."

'We should try harder to behave. We're wearing a rut in this floor.'

Al's Breakfast Diner. No conversation, please -- The left side of my brain doesn't kick in till my second cup.

Are we a bunch of losers? Who are you talking about? Me, Randy, Sadie, even you Uncle Mort – all of us cafe regulars. We've been hanging out at this place for years. I've been working here two decades. Do we have nowhere else to go? More powerful even than inertia: Any momentum killed by an uncompromising nap regimen. Zzzz.

'Coffee will stunt your growth -- here's some nice prune juice instead.'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

"My teacher wants to talk to you? Wow. What did you do wrong?"