Police Documentary Fan Gifts

'Can you hang on for half an hour? We're still waiting for the reality TV crew to turn up'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

A penguin's life is like endless summer camp, swimming and fishing all day every day!

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." It's okay for a first draft, Thomas, but it'll be much better if you make it rhyme!

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"But what's my motivation?"

"He did it!"

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

The Investigation

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

David Attenborough

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

Moon Line UP

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'

Al Pacino

'At least he kept his promise not to go to the media or government.'

Casting Wildlife Films.

'You got a search warrant?'

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"Are you not infotained?!!"

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

"No. 3 step forward and whine, 'Please, Mom, I'm forty-four years old—I can tie my own tie.'"

Wimpy Harry

"Just follow me around for a day with a camera. It would make a great reality TV show. ... I'm serious."

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'