Crime Documentary Fan Gifts

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

"You look nothing like you did through the peephole."

'You've got a very high re-offending rate.'

'I made good money - until they added colour to the twenty dollar bills.'

"Allegations were made, allegations were proved."

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"Scientists believe a prehistoric man found encased in a glacier may be a victim of assault." They should bring in a cold case specialist.

"Do you know underground zoos will pay a fortune for black market penguins?"

Mexican authorities just found 61 unidentified bodies in a abandoned crematorium.

'Enforcers are SO yesterday. I've got NHS managers to take care of that part of the business.'

'Back in my day there an element of surprise.'

'And now, a list of today's professional athlete felony assaults....'

'You've got quick drying cement.'

'Ugh! Didn't you commit this offence last time you were released?'

"I thought I'd never find you. Your coworkers only say you're away from your desk."

"This movie is based on what I'm in here for."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

The Elliot Ness monster.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

Cat Burglar

Minority Report

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'