Police Procedural Fan Gifts

'This is a textbook case of homicide.'

"Look, I did bring you in here for questioning. I want to know if you like my new tie."

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

The Investigation

'A dynamite sales idea, Lou. I'm just sorry I have to notify the police.'

"Come out with your hands up-you're surrounded by men with megaphones."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"He'll crack. We're using the good cop, ambiguous cop, perplexed coop, detached cop, forgetful cop, bad cop scenario."

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'Hey, Fred!' - 'Wassup, Herb?'

'That's not good enough!'

'No I'm sorry madam, this is the celebrity murder squad'.

The old good-cop, painfully shy-cop routine.

'I'm inclined to agree with you, Sir. Worst case of shoplifting I've seen.'

"Maybe it's always the person you least suspect because you're not a good detective."

"Detective Harris, NEXT TIME you use police officers in a line-up for witness identification. . . please don't have them show up in uniform!"

"Am I glad to see you officer? This sexy, young actress has been stalking me for months!"

Undercover cops' most embarrassing moments.

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Off-duty police ignore a robbery.

Never ask the police escort to deliver the eulogy.

'Clearly every one of these suspects has stolen my identity.'

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

"I swear, it's just my laundry!"

'Have a nice day.'

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

"The police want to ask you a few questions about where you get such good health insurance at such an affordable rate."

William Elliott and the taser

'Hey! -- No fair double-teaming!'

Moon Line UP

You Look Like a Million

"We're from the middle class drug squad and you're nicked."

He wouldn't hold still

Cigarette: 'There!! THAT'S him! The BIG guy on the right!' an angry burnt cigarette pointing out the cigarette lighter who burnt him to the police

'You have the right to remain silent.'