Police Fan Gifts

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Some mistakenly think 'HOV Lane' means Hot Occupant Vehicles.

Police Keyring

Police Feline Unit

Billy. The Kid.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"He did it!"

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

The Investigation

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"You were going 24,998 in a 24,955!"

'We've got a new DNA database...'

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

Moon Line UP

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'

"No. 3 step forward and whine, 'Please, Mom, I'm forty-four years old—I can tie my own tie.'"

'You got a search warrant?'

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

Arcarde Patrol

Police T.V. Appeal, "It's the new softy softy approach!"

"Yes, but what I really want to do is write children's books."

"This is our design team and their over-the-top looks."

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

Wimpy Harry