Police Procedural Parody Fan Gifts

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

"He did it!"

The Investigation

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Moon Line UP

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'

Excessive Paperwork

"No. 3 step forward and whine, 'Please, Mom, I'm forty-four years old—I can tie my own tie.'"

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

'You got a search warrant?'

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

Wimpy Harry

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

'A dynamite sales idea, Lou. I'm just sorry I have to notify the police.'

"He'll crack. We're using the good cop, ambiguous cop, perplexed coop, detached cop, forgetful cop, bad cop scenario."

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

'You have the right to remain silent.'

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

"Take me to Joanna Lumley."

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

"Next on... Auto Mechanic M.D. Your knees are shot, so I'm going to try injecting some grease. If that doesn't work, I'll make you new knees from some shock absorbers."